We don't do listicles - you know, those "Five ways to lose your mind" and "Top 10 ways to fry an egg blindfolded" countdowns that inevitably end in an anti-climax. We've had enough of those "what did I read this for, again?" moments and are pretty sure you've been bored slowly to death by their ilk. We say: "to hell with you, Google" and prefer to package our recommendations in more prose-like fashion. So, when we're asked what we think the 10 best safari destinations in Africa are, we scratch our heads feverishly, drink some wine, channel our inner bard and hit the keyboard... 

The result is this - our guide to the places we think really hit the mark when it comes to offering superlative, downright sexy safari experiences on the African sub-continent.

Let's start with defining "Africa" for a moment. When we say Africa, we mean everywhere south of the Sahara. Yes, we know, geography teachers would be having fainting fits because north of said legendary desert is also, technically, Africa. But it isn't, really. Not in safari terms at least.

The classic notion of wildlife-rich landscapes kicks in at around the 25 degree mark where latitude is concerned. Check the map if you don't believe us. Once you hit the 10 degree line, "safari Africa" is in full swing all the way to the continent's southern-most tip.

So, here then are 10 absolutely awesome, mind-blowingly fabulous destinations according to our definition of the chunk of rock on this big blue marble we call home... In no particular order. Take that, listicles!

The Okavango Delta is a safari no-brainer really. Botswana's best-loved and most-filmed destination is safari heaven, dripping with wildlife, jaw-dropping landscapes and more biodiversity than you can shake a stick at. It's also home to some of the finest camps and lodges on the continent. 

A bit to the left and down a bit, if you're looking at a map of Africa, Namibia's Etosha National Park is right up there in our humble opinion. Vast, eerily surreal and filled with a cacophony of life it's just breathtaking, especially wherever there's water. And it's here that normally grey elephants turn white, thanks to bathing in the pale, salty dust of the Etosha pans.

Virtually on the equator, Tanzania's Tarangire National Park and its neighbour, the Serengeti, epitomise the vision of the classic safari - one of vast plains filled with wall-to-wall wildlife. Tarangire's giant baobabs really do it for us and, of course, the Serengeti has all of those wildebeesties to bargain with so has to be seen to be believed. 

South Africa's gorgeous Timbavati - and the Greater Kruger National Park that surrounds it - is truly splendid and deserving of a spot in this tome. From open plains to thick riparian forests and gently undulating hills, the game viewing is off the charts and there are some truly world-class lodges and camps to choose from. 

Zambia's Lower Zambezi Valley is perhaps one of our top spots if we're honest. This place is truly special. It's just achingly beautiful and offers some of the best game viewing in Southern Africa along the banks of the mighty Zambezi River. There's something magical about the Zambezi - something that speaks to the restless soul in every wanderlust-filled traveller - a truly spiritual safari destination.

So too is Zimbabwe's Hwange National Park, once the hunting ground of African kings and now its country's flagship conservation success story. This is home to huge herds of elephant and buffalo, biodiversity for, well, Africa, stunning landscapes and trademark big skies. 

Exploring Hwange is a new adventure every day. Just like Zambia's South Luangwa National Park, the home of the walking safari. So, if getting out and discovering the African wilderness on foot appeals to you, this is the place to go. The South Luangwa is also renowned for its gob-smacking landscapes, rich variety of biomes and plentiful wildlife. 

For something completely different, Rwanda has to claim a spot here. The Volcanoes National Park is renowned the world over for its mountain gorillas but we love it, and this country in general, for its salivating scenery, wonderful people and incredible African spirit.

Finally, we're winding up with our hometown, Cape Town. The jewel of the south positioned close to the very bottom of Africa where the continent's tip stretches out towards Antarctica.

A melting pot of culture and history, it's also blessed with natural beauty in abundance and wine. Lots and lots of wine. Which is where we end this guide, glass in hand, toasting another damn fine blog.